What It Takes to Get to “Yes”

You don’t need to know all the answers — you just need to know how to ask better questions.

If there’s one thing I try to instil in my clients, it’s that business success often hinges not on certainty, but on curiosity. “No” doesn’t mean no — it usually means not yet.

I hear many people say, “That bank said no.” My response is always, “So what will it take to get to yes?” Most pause, then admit, “I don’t know.” They’ve accepted the no as final, rather than seeing it as the start of a conversation.

One of the best questions you can ask in business is: What does it take to get to yes?

From a very young age, we’re wired to react negatively to the word “no.” As children, we hear it constantly — it’s a boundary, a correction, a stop sign. As adults, that conditioning stays. We attach emotion and meaning to rejection, often leading us to frustration or self‑doubt. But “no” is just a word. It’s not a verdict. It’s not a reflection of your worth or capability. It’s simply is just information, its a clue that something needs to change before progress can continue.

The most important part of “no” is what comes after it. What happens next determines whether you move forward or stay where you are. Too often, people hear “no” and go into a tailspin, attaching all sorts of negative stories to it: I’m not good enough, they don’t believe in me, this will never work. But if you can pause and ask, “What would need to happen for this to become a yes?” you shift from reaction to strategy.

Curiosity is an antidote to rejection.

If we want to move forward in business, leadership, or life, we need to be curious about what’s missing, what we aren't seeing. What do we need to learn, prove, or demonstrate to win the game? It’s hard to win if you don’t understand the rules.

Take the bank example. You want a loan for something important. You walk into the meeting, present your case, and hear “no.” Instead of walking away defeated, what about asking, “What would it take for this to be a yes?” That question invites collaboration. It signals that you’re willing to do the work, to understand their criteria, and to meet them halfway. It also gets the other party invested in helping you succeed — because now they’re part of the solution.

When you ask that question, you’re not just negotiating terms; you’re building trust. You’re showing resilience, adaptability, and a willingness to learn. You are also showing that you are serious about this and will do what it takes to get there.

Every “no” contains data. It tells you what’s missing, what needs refining, and where the opportunity lies. The challenge is to listen without defensiveness. When you hear “no,” ask yourself:

• What assumptions might I be making?

• What evidence do I need to strengthen my case?

• What would make this decision easier for the other person?

• What boxes do i need to get a tick in?

This mindset transforms rejection into research. It turns a no into a not yet.

In coaching, I often remind clients that progress rarely comes from comfort. It comes from the willingness to ask uncomfortable questions — of others and of ourselves. “What will it take to get to yes?” isn’t just a business tactic; it’s a philosophy of growth. It’s how we move from frustration to clarity, from reaction to response, from limitation to possibility.

So next time you hear “no,” pause before you add a negative spin on it. Instead, lean in. Ask the question - What would it take to get a yes, and listen actively to the answers. Then go about acting on what you learn. That's how you accelerate achievement!

Because “no” doesn’t mean the end of the conversation — it’s the beginning of a better one.